Arrange to have garlic and onions cast into hot oil.
The carrot and celery you must divide against themselves. Ground beef, too, shall turn upon the burner; crush any coherent resistance with a spoon of wood. Sautee until no hint of blood remains to stain your hands.
Perhaps, in a dark place without witnesses, the tomato shall meet with the knife.
The basil and parsley you may use without consequence. For long minutes, all shall be muddled and roil on the surface of the flame.
If it is most advantageous, store cold for the proper day.